The Butterfly Effect

Change everything, for one thing

I write this doodlebug article, after—several times—watching The Butterfly
Effect movie (released in 2004, starred by Asthon Kutcher).

For Ashton, this movie is special for he’s playing a serious character facing a serious conflict. The character he played is far away from his image as a comedian actor. Nevertheless, he proved to play the character quite well.

For me, this movie is in my recommended movies list for its ability to describe the tense between determinism and indeterminism concept, then which labeled as ‘fate’.

This movie is telling a story about a man named Evan Treborn who suffers a mysterious amnesia. Sometimes, he blacks out and doesn’t remember anything so badly that makes his mother suspecting him for inheriting his father’s mental illness (who’s kept in asylum).

But, however, the medical check proves that Evan’s condition is normal. His psychiatrist recommend him to write a diary so he can remember everything happened in his daily life. Since then, Evan kept writing his diary.

Six years later, the young Evan hanging with his friends Tommy Miller, Kayleigh (Tommy’s sister), and Lenny. In one of their dumb action, they made the friendship torn apart. Evan never know what has happened and (when I first enjoy this movie) as audient I also doesn’t really know what happened in that scene. :p

Then, the movie tells a scene where Evan is a college boy and teasing his girlfriend in his room. At that moment, they found Evan’s diary that makes him curious for there are many blank pages that he can not remember.

Driven by his curiosity, Evan goes back to his hometown to seek for the missing time-line of his childhood. Conflict appears when everybody speaks none, and even Kayleigh suicide after their meet.

And then, Evan realize that he can change his past through his diary and change his life scenario. He’s not only able to change his fate, but also change the his friends’ fate, and even his beloved mother’s fate.

Unfortunately, he always fail creating a perfect result on whatever he change in the past. Just like a zero-sum game, happiness that Evan put in the past for one of his friend always result to the opposite situation for another’s fate including his own mother’s.

Suspense is created when Evan lost his access to his time travel machine (his diary) while he is in the past. The climax is coming as he decide to create a—not the best, but—fair future for his lover, friends, and his mom.

***

My religion teaches me about the determinism concept, called ‘takdir’ (fate). When I was a boy, I thought that God has created a “script” contains the path of my life, that I can only follow with no power to change that.

Nevertheless, as I grow mature and understand more on the time relativity and a more comprehensive understanding on the holy book, I come to a conclusion that the concept of fate is very simple: it is, still being, and will be written.

If I have Evan’s ability, then I supposed to have similar result: I can change my fate, everything can happened, BUT still everything is under His scenario. Yup, The Master of Time has known and already prepared millions result of the deviation we mader now, or even—maybe—in the past.

The reason is very simple: because we are the one who are tied to the time-line (past, present, future) while He acts “at the same time ” beyond that three dimension of time.

The Butterfly Effect movie brilliantly describe that concept, especially on how the limitation of man’s will as a microcosmic energy to change the macrocosmic energy surrounding him, the universe.

As a man that once heavily crush on Sartre’s existentialism, of course I want to control the wheel of my life. I want to totally control my life, choosing what is good (interpret: pleasure, can be ethical or aesthetical pleasure) for my-self-go-to-hell-with-others. :)

But, how can I totally control my life with my own hands and feet, when the fate always grabs me from my behind, my front, and my side? Can I define myself as winning the fight against my fate by controlling how and when I dies, as Kawabata and Mishima (Japanese novelist) did?

And is that really the victory upon the fate, or is that actually the biggest lost for giving up before the bell of the last round ringed by the death?

According to me, the victory against the death is reached when we decide to choose one path oh life. Since we have only one shot, then we should choose what we consider as the fairest amongst all, although sometimes it means hurting our ethic and aesthetic ego.

Perharps, this explains why Muhammad, Jesus, or Sidharta choose to distributing their wealth to the poor, rather than using them for puffing up their stomach and piling the bundle of fats.

We can not afford for satisfying every person, including ourself, to create a better future for all. But, however, we can build a will to choose a deed that is fair for the universe, although there will be some people, or us, get hurts as the consequence.

***

When I watch the last scene of the movie, I suddenly remember to the story where Avalokitesvara change his form into a woman (Kwan Im goddes) in order to make his lover accept his decision to follow Budha.

I remember he said, “will you love me now, when I change my form as a woman? It’s not me who you love, but you love me as a man.”

The movie tells us how Evan desperately trying to change his past in order to create a prefect life with Kayleigh Miller. But, as reviewed before, all his decision always leads to negative consequence on another’s fate, includes him and his mother.

Finally at the edge of his adventure, Evan chose a fate that is fair for everybody: he and Kayleigh (his lover) become two stranger and never knows each other. Kayleigh’s memory’s left in his heart as a lyrical tone.

Evan has chosen. He believes that he choose the best for his lover’s future. In the end of the movie, Evan is shown walking on the street of New York as one of hundreds young executive there. The camera catch a slow motion when Evan passing by his “ex” lover (Kayleigh) as a definitely two stranger.

Evan has decided to choose a fate that makes him ignoring her, and so he kept walking. I believe that he know it is a fair decision for all, especially for Kayleigh whom he love before, now, and after.

He wins the fight against the fate. He manifests his love by saving Kayleigh in the past, and he’s happy to see the woman is now having a better life.

That is how he loves Kayleigh, because he knows Kayleigh won’t be happy with him if they're together, in the name of love.

...

At this standpoint, the concept of love a la Romeo and Juliet really-really sounds so suck and hypocrit.